About Old Love

I'm pretty stoned as I write this, but its an interesting story, its one of my stories. The story of my first love.

This goes way back to kindergarten. Alot about kindergarten is a blur or I have no recollection of. But the memory of her back then, that I can't forget. I'm not sure when I first saw her nor how did friends and family know about my crush on her.  But it happened, people would tease and what not. Being a 6 year old boy you would deny everything, even if it was true.

Primary school... she was still around and mind you I have never spoken to her at all. Primary school I was trying to impress her, I don't know why but I always felt like everyone was look at my every action like the Truman Show. So when I was nine years old if I'm not mistaken I was walking down the stairs and knowing that I was walking past her class, acted all cool and walked down. Unfortunately I missed a step and fell. Luckily I didnt fall forward but on my bum. But I kept falling down the steps, like butt, butt, butt.

Quickly got up (thank god no one saw me) and walked away all macho. But I was in a shit lot of pain, I had cut myself on by back on a few places. Just the scratches, not bad enough to bleed or draw blood. But it hurt like hell when my shirt touched the cuts. Still remember calling my aunt to come pick me up because I was in a lot of pain.

That was also the same year that she was selected to take this one test that would let you skip a grade. As much of a dick as it may seem, I really didnt want her to pass that test. I didn't want to see her go. She passed the test but decided not to skip a grade but rather to continue on as per normal. Not much after that. Till the awesomeness of end of the school year when I was ten years old.

The school year was over, it was the last day of class. Our names had been put up for the following years class arrangements. And we were supposed to be the same class, as classmates; for the first time ever we were to be in the same class. This was my opportunity, my chance to say 'Hi', to be friends... thats as far as I thought then, was a bit of a good boy. I can say though, I didn't know how I was gonna approach her.


Two months of school holidays came and went, had an awesome holiday doing whatever it is 10 year old Navin was doing back then and was not the least bit upset the holidays were over. Not upset because it gave me a chance to see her, I will be seeing her everyday for the rest of this new schooling year.

So I went in class, with the swagger only a little boy in love could have and took his place. Patiently waited as my new classmates decided where they wanted to sit or with whom they wanted to sit with. Eagerly peering at the door at every new person entering the classroom expecting her to make her appearance, to take her seat. But it didn't happen, the teacher came in and began class. I presumed that maybe she is sick or maybe even still on vacation and will be back in school later in the week.

I patiently waited for the rest of the week. The following week came and I decided to ask a friend of hers only to find out that she had migrated to the United States as her mum got married to an American. That was shit. Complete and utter shit. With no contact from her, no details she was gone, just a memory that I would just look back and cringe.

Years past and I got over it. Got into my first relationship a few year later and ended that. Fun times, all messy and extremely regrettable. Well, one night when I was 15 years old, I get a Facebook message from an old kindergarten friend, asking me if I remembered this girl from our kindergarten. He gave the description and told me where she was now, I immediately blew a fuse, can it be her? Am I getting a second chance? Even with the distance why not? Could this be it?

So basically she was trying to reconnect with everyone from kindergarten and primary school that she was friends with. I wasn't exactly friends with her but I... errr... knew her hehe. Well I added her on Facebook and sent her a personal message just to reassure her that I'm not a weirdo adding her (when I kinda was) and was infact someone from her kindergarten.

She accepted! We started catching up and taking, hell we would talk every bloody day, MSN and Facebook. The good old days, it was going well, I finally was getting to know her and she was planning on coming down to Malaysia to visit her grandmother. This gave me a chance to take her out, maybe even a date.

Sadly as we got to know each other better, I started to realize that we weren't compatible for each other, that we were worlds apart and that there wasn't much hope for anything other than to be friends with her. But how could you? This is the first person you had feeling / fell for / or whatever you want to call it. We drifted apart and one day we were no longer friends on Facebook. I'm not even sure if I deleted her or she deleted me.

This story is the very definition on how sad my love life is. And yes all of it is true


These are my thoughts and views. If it really offends you, either you are a pushover or just a freaking baby, grow up