Seriously why the fuck do that to someone? I don't know how to feel. Im gonna shut it out for tonight, blog about this and release all this shit after my paper.. I really need to study and this is not fucking helping
Tuesday 22 May 2012
Why?
Didn't think it's possible from feeling on top of the world to a worthless piece of shit in just a matter of months..
I have no one but myself to blame
Fuck me and my curiosity.. I just want to die in a corner
These are my thoughts and views. If it really offends you, either you are a pushover or just a freaking baby, grow up
Sunday 20 May 2012
Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be,
For my unconquerable soul,
In the fell clutch of circumstance,
I have not winced nor cried aloud,
Under the bludgeoning of chance,
My head is bloody, but unbowed,
Beyond this place of wrath and tears,
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years,
Finds and Shall find me unafraid,
It matters not strait the gate,
How charged with punishment the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul
Thursday 17 May 2012
The Stereotypes
Tired as fuck, am actually thinking maybe I have waay too much on my plate..
lacking in sleep, I havent been doing my notes, assignments are piling up...
I need to sort out my priorities
Monday 14 May 2012
There isn't a moment he doesn't think about it,
It's always a lingering thought in his head,
No matter how much work he has,
It would always be in his head,
He feels helpless, like he's stuck in a hole,
Unsure what to do and who to take comfort from,
He just wants things back to how it was,
He feels it's very selfish of him,
A few days back he was sketching,
He came across some thing scribbled in one of the last few pages,
He stared blankly at it,
A drop fell on the page,
He realized he was tearing up,
He cried,
He felt vulnerable only to you,
He will wait.
These are my thoughts and views. If it really offends you, either you are a pushover or just a freaking baby, grow up
Mid-Mid-Life Crisis
Convinced myself that I'm going through a mid mid life crisis. I recently decided to start back my old hobby of model making.. currently building the Sukhoi Su-27 B2 Sea Flanker.
This one right here
Feels good to be back at it man. Seriously good. Pictures on the process will be up soon
Monday 7 May 2012
Supplements and Nutrients
Seriously felt like puking during the morning work out.. but there wasnt much to puke. Getting abit addicted to physical torture. It feels nice.
Recently bought protein shake, creatine and glutemine. The creatine is fine, since you have to take it with a juice so having something sweet kills the taste. but the glutemine, owh god that you have to just take a spoon of it and just put it in your mouth. now right about then I seriously felt like puking. Somehow managed to hold it in.
Starting to pick what I eat. Not soo much with unhealthy foods, that is seriously a pain in the ass. The sacrifices we do to look better huh?
Parked the car and walked to class. Suddenly felt like getting something to eat. And then I realized I left my wallet in the car. Fucking brilliant. Hope no one breaks in the car wei
Sunday 6 May 2012
Whoaa Seriously?
Okay not really bothered.. it's really not my problem but what the fuck? That was fast right? I seriously made the right decision man. All I would really get in return is one major fucking headache. I'd rather have a mental breakdown than that shit.
Hahah I have soo much to bitch about it but I guess that is mean. And I'm a responsible adult who doesn't do that. Fuck... I really want to. Dammit.
Meh.. Time to gym
Saturday 5 May 2012
No Sleep
I'm seriously beginning to hate going to bed. I end up think too much about everything.. the fuck man.
But there was only one topic that was always lingering there.. dammit.. I need professional help man.
Was given a room to stay at yesterday night because was working back to back. Damn sad, stoning in the room alone with a beer and a cig. Just a short post. Hope to start blogging more often
Wednesday 2 May 2012
To Set Free The Mind
Yes, it's been too long. It's been almost a year since I last blogged. Why the sudden urge to blog?
Simple
I've come to realize that the blog has become dead. People rarely come to visit it making it a great place to express myself. At least for the time being. Can't really do this on Facebook; people would think that I'm a emo baby. And frankly I hate it when people post up every fucking thing on Facebook. As for Twitter? Too many people follow me and again, people have been complaining that my tweets have been a tad bit emo. So much for freedom of speech huh?
Where to begin? I've done soo much since May 23rd 2011. I've graduated, I've enjoyed nine months of freedom, I met someone that i want to be with and I was alive.
Funny how things change really fast.. Started my degree and continued on working, just to get my mind off you. Mum thinks that the lack of sleep is because of work. I shrug off her claims that I'm tired. I don't feel tired; I'm just pretty darn upset.
Decided to skip Commerce class and MICE management to get a start on assignments and continue on the notes from where I last left off. Assignment almost done and notes haven't even started. I keep procrastinating and finding other things to do. 3 hours till the next class. Try to finish up in 2 hours grab lunch and off to the next class.
Frankly I don't know if I want to talk about you.. there is still that fear that you might read this.. that you might think that I'm a pathetic piece of shit. God, I hate letting people in. Everytime I let someone in, I get hurt, every fucking time. Well not today, as much as I want to pour my heart out here, not today.
These are my thoughts and views. If it really offends you, either you are a pushover or just a freaking baby, grow up
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