The L Feeling

It was a bad joke. Well it didn't feel like it when I was scheming it.

Am I supposed to feel bad?

Apparently I'm an attention seeker. Frankly, I'm not going to deny or admit to it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Heck that's why I have my blog. Whatever, I first gave a shit when it hit the fan but now I couldn't give a fuck what anyone thinks of it and of me.

This picture. It's the cover of Thom Yorke's solo album, The Eraser. Only recently have I understood the picture. Well, my understanding. The Eraser is like anyone else, the waves represent life. Life doesn't in little amounts. It comes just as the picture shows. That's my understanding.

First day of front office. It went much better than I expected it to be. I think I'm going to really enjoy my last month here.

These are my thoughts and views. If it really offends you, either you are a pushover or just a freaking baby, grow up

Railings & Drains

Just when I thought things are gonna get better here, someone takes a frying pan and smacks me in the face.


Yesterday after getting to play futsal for the first time on the resort and after dinner; Leon and I forgot our keys. So I went over to Fisherman's Cove got the key from Remon and headed back.

Just as I reached the quarters I felt my left leg on air. Next thing I knew, I fell into a drain. One leg in one leg out. I would have broken the damn leg if I didnt use my hands to stop me from falling forward.

Screamed for help as I got out, Leon came immediately. I still remember the pain, the unbearable burning pain. Nick, Ho Kun, Ivan and Leon carried me to the chair outside the quarters. As they cleaned the would the pain was getting more and more unbearable. I just felt like dying.


Today, after a check up by a specialist and an xray, apparently I suffered from a minor hair-line fracture from the fall. Man it sucks to be me.


Painkillers are kicking in. I want to sleep. Nights

These are my thoughts and views. If it really offends you, either you are a pushover or just a freaking baby, grow up

Funky Dreams

It's not once but quite a number of times; I've been having some really interesting dreams while here at Pangkor.

Interesting yet, hard to remember. I'm only able to remember fragments of it and from that I can just add up how peculiar the dream is.


Some had me talking to people I don't know but in somewhat in the resort background, not talking about anything, but something really important. It seemed important. There must be a hidden meaning to it. I just wonder what it is.


Most recent one I had is in the afternoon; I took a nap and dreamt that my parents and my younger brother were here on the resort and were about to head out to the Emerald Bay. After sending them off, I could see a tornado heading to the resort from the main island. Tried calling my parents but my phone was somehow in pieces.


Later on the dream felt like real because I was in the resort but leaning on my dad's Volvo. I'm wondering to myself how the heck did the car get here. Yes, I was thinking in my sleep. I mean really thinking logically.

It's a first time for me because I realised that when I start thinking logically in my sleep, the situation, layout and are suddenly change and I cant remember what I'm thinking about.


From what I can conclude, the part about family in my dreams could be due to homesickness. Funny, I don't feel homesick. I remember having dreams like that when I went for National Service.


As for the dreams getting more and more funkier; I think it's the power naps I'm taking

These are my thoughts and views. If it really offends you, either you are a pushover or just a freaking baby, grow up

A Man With A Fork, In A World Of Soup

Nuff Said

Came across this really funny data sheet that day... No offence ladies

Gonna go read a book.




These are my thoughts and views. If it really offends you, either you are a pushover or just a freaking baby, grow up

It's All Relative, It's All Understood

Well, I'm going back to my roots on this one.


This is mainly for my mum

Recently my mum asked me to pick a laptop on the Dell website. Being me, when my parents ask me to choose what I want when they pay for it, I always pick the cheapest thing.


I feel we come from a lower middle class family and I hate to be a burden to my parents. Especially to my mum. She works hard and never complains. Okay maybe a few times on how we don't help out with the chores, but she's entitled to that.


So about the laptop, I picked a cheap one and she told me to get a better one as it would be good for the long run. I don't know but I just feel guilty about it. A part of me wanted to tell her that I don't need it if she needed to fork out the amount that was needed for the better model.


Since my early teenage life, I know my parents have it hard and I try to ease their burden by getting a part time job during my holidays to pay for my daily needs. I just hate the I idea that I have to be a burden to my parents. I feel bad, I feel guilty.


Yes there are times I have misunderstandings with them, especially my mum. All this while we'd get into a heated exchange of words. It's only recently I realised that how much she's done for the three of us.


My sister and her University fees, plane tickets, allowance and her usual needs. I feel she cant seem to understand the situation that she's putting mum and dad in.

My brother, the somewhat spoilt on in the family. He too does not realise the burden he's giving them.


My parents too play a part in this. I noticed, we would want something, if it's really not necessary they'd say no. But we'd somehow make them feel guilty about not getting it for us and they ending working hard just so we're happy.


Very self centred of us isn't it. I somehow hate myself for all the burdens I've given my parents... Especially you Amma


I'm Sorry & I Love You

These are my thoughts and views. If it really offends you, either you are a pushover or just a freaking baby, grow up